Polite Savages (tm)

Don't Take Your Shoes Off During a Business Meeting

 

I'm back after a long summer hiatus!  I have a lot of adventures to share with you.  However, before I tell you about what I learned on my time off, I advise you never to take your shoes off during a business meeting. 

This morning I attended a seminar at a law firm that my company uses as outside counsel. Though we are a client, I put on a suit and tie, fashionable of course.  Usually Iwear business casual but I thought it would be nice to dress up and put on a pretty face.  Let's face it, people are nicer to you if you pay the bill but they are even nicer if you pay the bill and look nice too.  As I've said again and again, your dress and hygiene is a sign of respect for those around you.  This makes a big difference in business.

If you look at the photograph, you'll notice that you can see the foot of your run of the mill conference table and the feet and shoes of the person sitting next to me.  Gross!  This was a presentation at a fancy law firm which I think merits a certain level of decorum.  Read, don't take your shoes off.  It's off putting and disturbing.  Especially because I was sitting there in my Paul Smith suit, constricting Aquascutum tie and dress shoes.  Sure I would have loved to attended the seminar in shorts and sandals but I didn't.  I sat properly and listened attentively while suffering in my business wear.

I advise you to do the same the next time you attend any business meeting that doesn't take place in your bedroom.

The Office Holiday Party

The office holiday party is the most treacherous of all office events.  You're navigating the narrow waterway of fun between the Scylla and Charybdis of gossip and scandal.  The office holiday party is deceptively relaxing.  You think you can let loose and show your real self to your colleagues.  Don't do it!  You should keep your real self away from those people that can influence your professional life.  Just because everyone else is letting loose doesn't mean that they're not filing away facts for later use.  Even though your boss or subordinate might welcome your fun side, it doesn't mean that they won't judge you come a sober Monday morning. 

Office Gifting

      There is no official office gifting policy where I work.  We don't have one of those horrible secret santa programs where everyone is inevitably disappointed or a strict no gift exchange at work policy.  Though I disparage these official gift programs, rules do make decision making easier. 

     Hurt feelings and confusion when there are no guidelines.  Here's some advice for those murky situations.

1.  Give to all or give to none.  Do not just give gifts to some people and not others in your department.  People talk and offense, however slight, will result. 

2.  Avoid religious references.  Though Christmas is now secularized, it is still a religious holiday.  Call them holiday gifts if you do decide to spread the joy.

3.  Gifts to the boss are not necessary (unless you work for a self-absorbed, greedy creature) and as a boss, I would not expect gifts from subordinates.  Bosses typically make more and really should reward subordinates with appropriate gifts.

4.  Give only appropriate gifts.  Appropriate for the professional environment and the moral, religious and other beliefs of the recipients.  Like don't send a Virgnia ham to a Jewish colleague that keeps kosher or a bottle of single malt scotch to a recovering alcoholic.  Also, adult gifts are never appropriate in the workplace.  You know what I mean.

5.  Manage your expectations.  If you give a gift, don't expect one in return.  After all, this season is about generosity which implies a bit of selflessness, eh?

6.  If there are rules, follow them.  For example if there is a dollar limit on gifts then stick to it.  Don't showboat.

Any questions?  Feel free to comment or email me.

Speaker Phone

Speaker phone should never ever be used during a phone call except as necessary.  At my workplace, everyone has speakerphone and a lot of people like to kick back in their chairs and shout into the tiny little microphone that results in a tinny, barely comprehensible voice on the other end.  I have had many unpleasant yet required conversations where I feel that the other person is yelling at me or they sound like they've been captured by a witch and placed in a small box.  In shared office spaces, your neighbors don't need to hear about every deal point or how much your client annoys you. 

Necessary situations include: 

1. Multiple parties in one office
2. Physical handicap such as a broken arm or neckcast

Conference Room Etiquette

     I gave a presentation today that I thought was brilliant and informative.  Towards the end of the presentation, a woman opened the door to the conference room and asked if would mind if she set up her laptop for her presentation since she had reserved that room for the next hour.  We still had ten minutes left on the clock.  My boss politely rebuffed her, telling her that we would be finished in a few minutes and that we were listening to a presentation.  This person, who is apparently very thick, kept pressing the issue.  She finally departed leaving her laptop as a marker and her interruption as a thorn in the conclusion of my talk.

     Meeting space today is shared.  In most corporate settings, conference room reservations are necessary.  They can be made in a primitive sign up sheet posted outside the door or through a networked calendar application.  Regardless, you have to respect the schedule.  If you need extra time to prepare or wind-up then plan ahead and reserve the extra time.   

     Planning results in a successful meeting.

1.  Invite the right people.  Do not invite people who do not have a stake in the meeting.

2.  Find appropriate accommodation.  Large enough room to accommodate invitees.

3.  Distribute an agenda.  Inform people of the meeting's purpose and goals.

4.  Designate and identify a meeting moderator or leader.  Keep the meeting on track.

Office Pantry

    The office pantry.  What a dismal place unless you work somewhere posh like Google where a happy workplace is actually implemented with a fancy drinks machine that makes espresso, cappuccino, black tea, white tea and hot chocolate, and lovely snacks, healthy and bad, are neatly displayed.  Compare that to a robotic mission statement telling you that employees are important that is posted on a cork board on a Formica wall above the microwave splattered on the inside which is next to the dingy coffee machine that is in front of a sad little dinette set which sits under a fluorescent light. 

     While these two places seem very different, they do have something in common.  They are both public spaces.  And that means that you need to do your bit to keep them neat and tidy.  Take your mess and go.  Don't leave your dirty cups and wrappers behind expecting the cleaning crew or a conscientious colleague to pick up after you.  Don't assume that trays, plates and cutlery that you carried out from the cafeteria will be picked up by food services staff.  Leave the pantry in a better condition than you found it.  Otherwise some disgruntled coworker might just take a picture of something you've left behind and put it in his blog.