Polite Savages (tm)

International Relations: Part 2 Money, Money, Money!

In other parts of the world there are specific customs when it comes to paying your local grocer or the hotel bill.

In France, most retail transactions are handled like this.  Your bill comes to you on a tray.  You pick it up and look at it and then you place your cash or credit card onto the tray and return said tray to the cashier.  The cashier will then return your change or cash slip on the tray for you to take or sign.

In China and many other Asian countries, like Singapore, Hong Kong (OK, technically it's part of China but it's a Special Administrative Region), Taiwan and Japan, the cashier will present your bill with both hands and you should accept with both hands.  When presenting cash or credit card for payment you present with both hands.  It's a sign of respect from one party to the other. 

Unfortunately, here at home, anything goes. 

International Relations: Part 1, Tongue

Save that for some other form of international relations.  What I'm talking about is speaking a foreign language.  When you travel to another country, not England, you should try to speak like the locals.  Don't assume that everyone can speak English.  Even if they can it's still nice to try out the basics.  Need I remind you again?  Hello, Good Bye, and Thank You!

I was in France this past summer with a dear friend of mine who is extremely smart and well educated but doesn't speak French.  Unlike me of course.  In any case, everywhere we went he spoke English to shopkeepers, waiters and strangers as if they could understand.  Sometimes they did, but more often than not, they appeared confused and put off.  Of course they would, can you imagine if someone came up to you and just started speaking to you in some other language?  

A couple of weeks ago, I was in this upscale pet store, zoomies, with my daughter and our little dog.  An elegant, bejeweled older woman started speaking to me in Portuguese.  She was smiling big time so I knew she smiled back thinking,, "Um, yeah, you're in New York so you need to speak English."  I'm not some xenophobic populist.  I just didn't understand what she was saying and didn't think that I really should have to know Portuguese in addition to the three languages I can already speak, quite competently I might add!  When I told shook my head and said sorry I don't understand, she called upon her daughter, also bejeweled and tanned in a very I have lots of leisure time kind of way.  Her daughter, clearly not wanting to get involved, told me that her mom really liked our dog and was wondering if he was some kind of English something or another.  I, not having so much leisure time, explained that he was a long haired chihuahua.  They were less than impressed.  He is rather big for a but I have papers!  Ok, the point is that what if someone came up to you in your hometown and started speaking to you in a foreign language?  Wouldn't you feel a bit put off?  So don't do the same if you have a passport unlike a certain vice presidential candidate (oh sorry, she got one two years ago?) and choose to travel abroad.  Be a world citizen not just an American citizen. 

Oh yeah, for the record, I am a proud and patriotic American.

Don't Take Your Shoes Off During a Business Meeting

 

I'm back after a long summer hiatus!  I have a lot of adventures to share with you.  However, before I tell you about what I learned on my time off, I advise you never to take your shoes off during a business meeting. 

This morning I attended a seminar at a law firm that my company uses as outside counsel. Though we are a client, I put on a suit and tie, fashionable of course.  Usually Iwear business casual but I thought it would be nice to dress up and put on a pretty face.  Let's face it, people are nicer to you if you pay the bill but they are even nicer if you pay the bill and look nice too.  As I've said again and again, your dress and hygiene is a sign of respect for those around you.  This makes a big difference in business.

If you look at the photograph, you'll notice that you can see the foot of your run of the mill conference table and the feet and shoes of the person sitting next to me.  Gross!  This was a presentation at a fancy law firm which I think merits a certain level of decorum.  Read, don't take your shoes off.  It's off putting and disturbing.  Especially because I was sitting there in my Paul Smith suit, constricting Aquascutum tie and dress shoes.  Sure I would have loved to attended the seminar in shorts and sandals but I didn't.  I sat properly and listened attentively while suffering in my business wear.

I advise you to do the same the next time you attend any business meeting that doesn't take place in your bedroom.

New York Chinatown Bakeries

I love food.  I love Chinese food and I mean real Chinese food.  Not the stuff of local takeouts that cater to a bland palate.  One of the things that most Americans don't experience about Chinese food is the Chinese bakery.  The Chinese bakery in America is a fusion of Western baking techniques and the Chinese palate.  The baked goods range from sugary goodness in the middle of a napoleon walnut cake, the savory goodness of a pork thread bun and my favorite, the egg custard tart.  Of course there is so much more for sale like roast pork buns, curry puffs, hot dogs wrapped in puff pastry, sweet white pullman bread and the list goes on . . . I could eat at a Chinese bakery everyday. 

A couple of blogs and websites provide fantastic advice on  navigating the menu and ordering etiquette at a Chinese bakery.

Ed Levine provides a detailed guide to New York's Chinatown bakeries.

This is a general New York Chinatown blog.

Fay Da is one of the most prominent and accessible bakeries in New York's Chinatown.

These bakeries typically provide trays, tongs and wax bags.  It's self-service but sales attendants are always ready to help customers especially the ones that look confused.  Please do not use bare hands, put baked goods into the wax bags.  Move from left to right.  Pass your tray to a cashier who will tally your purchases.  Pay quickly and get out of the way.  Don't be afraid to ask questions.  Finally as always, say thank you and please and smile.

Enjoy!

What's Wrong with Social Networking for Dogs?

Well for starters, dogs can't use a computer.  They can't read or even type on a keyboard.  Do they really care that Dancer misses his mommy or Tequila Bon Bon's favorite treats are Dr. Becker's Bites (which by the way my dog loves)?  Not so much. 

Boo Cheetos, Orange Underground Should Stay Underground

I saw an ad tonight for Cheetos (r).  Setting:  Laundromat.  Heroine:  Young woman trying to plod along and do her laundry.  Antagonist:  Mean girl who says something mean to Heroine.  Resolution:  Chester Cheetah (r) excuses himself from imaginary chess game to suggest that Heroine put her bag of Cheetos (r) into Antagonist's dryer full of whites. 

What's wrong with this story? 

Lots.  I hardly believe that advertising should teach people anti-social behavior.  So what if Antagonist made a mean comment to Heroine.  Does that really justify a stepped-up, property-damaging response?  This is a rhetorical question and the answer is NO! 

I would love to know who came up with this socially irresponsible ad campaign that condones anti-social behavior.  I would love to discuss their attitude or dump a bag of Cheetos (r) into their laundry and see their reaction.

Cheers!

Train Vigilante Followup

The New York Times folllowed up on the indignant train passenger who tried to educate his fellow commuters on the etiquette on public transportation. 

While I am sympathetic to his beliefs, I don't agree with him on how to enforce those social rules.  Yelling, physical contact are big no-no's for me.  You end up being just as bad as the people you are trying to correct. 

So here's to you Mr. John Clifford and all that you do.  May you be rewarded in this life or the next.  I wish you the best. 

The Office Holiday Party

The office holiday party is the most treacherous of all office events.  You're navigating the narrow waterway of fun between the Scylla and Charybdis of gossip and scandal.  The office holiday party is deceptively relaxing.  You think you can let loose and show your real self to your colleagues.  Don't do it!  You should keep your real self away from those people that can influence your professional life.  Just because everyone else is letting loose doesn't mean that they're not filing away facts for later use.  Even though your boss or subordinate might welcome your fun side, it doesn't mean that they won't judge you come a sober Monday morning. 

Regifting: Gifting the Green Way

     Green, eco-friendly . . . these are all terms that are bandied about in mainstream media.  It's trendy to be environementally conscious.  There are even eco-green-recycled-luxury vacations now.  Didn't the definition of luxury mean extravagance and therefore exess and waste?  How can we reconcile luxury and green?  That's the subject of a much bigger debate.  What we can do in our daily lives is to conserve, recycle and reduce our impact on the environment.  During the holiday season we can do that is by regifting.   

     What's not debatable is that people don't want to receive carbon credits or cards telling them that a donation has been made in their name to the save the world fund.  One small way to save the planet is to regift.  Many resources went into manufacturing, transporting and marketing those unwanted presents in your closet.  The more resourceful among us save these unwanted items to give away again.  Just because a gift is of no interest to you doesn't mean that it has no value to someone else.  Like the old saying goes, one person's trash is another person's treasure.  Regifting should be done in a way that the recipient doesn't realize that he/she is receiving a recycled present.  Some handy tips follow:

     1.  The item should be new and unused unless it's something like a Stradivarius violin.

     2.  If there's a gift tag, take it off.  Nothing is worse than receiving a gift that was so obviously meant for someone else. 

     3.  As with any other gift, make sure the gift is thoughtful and appropriate for its recipient.  For example don't give rollerblades to a wheelchair-bound friend. 

     4.  Obviously, don't regfit to the person that gave you the gift to begin with or to anyone who might be in contact with the original gifter.  People talk . . .   

No Offense

     Another phrase that should be avoided, "Not to be mean but . . . "  Uh, no.  The following statements will be mean.