Florence Fabricant wrote last week in the New York Times about the decline of formal dining restaurants in Manhattan. Linen table cloths, fine china and crystal are just too expensive and apparently not quite as fashionable anymore. Alain Ducasse said: "In six years, style and expectations have changed. You cannot present the same degree of formality." A part of me regrets the trend because it means that there will be fewer opportunities to practice elegant dining. Another part of me is delighted because I don't want elaborate decorum at a meal. I'm just too tired to wear a tie, sit up straight and use the correct fork.
That being said, I believe that knowing proper dining etiquette is necessary for social success. Knowing how to cut meat properly, how to use a fish knife and where to put your napkin when you leave the table shows your respect for the people that choose to dine with you and for the society in which you live.
However, I cannot discount that manners evolve. What was proper a century ago is considered outlandish today. And that's fine. Manners are not static rules. They evolve with social and cultural norms. If dining manners didn't change, all of our meat would still be on a stick. Don't get me wrong, I love meat on a stick, who doesn't? If manners didn't change at all, it would be a reflection of a stagnant society. Those die.
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