Polite Savages (tm)

The Plane

     I was on a plane from Las Vegas to New York with three of the most obnoxious people on the plane in the row in front of me.  I don't have a picture for this one because I'm afraid that the airline would mark me as a terrorist and also the subjects of my lens would probably beat the crap out of me. 

     The woman in the window seat to the left was on her iPhone non-stop.  After we were cleared for take-off and the doors were closed, the flight attendant came by and asked her to turn it off.  iPhone woman said, "It's OK, it's on airplane mode."  I didn't realize we were flying with an aviation expert.  Luckily the flight attendant knew better.  "Ma'am, no electronic devices are permitted for use by the FAA during take off.  Please turn it off."  She harrumphed and complied.  Airplane mode?  Was she making this up?  I looked it up today and to her credit iPhone woman was not making it up but airplane mode is meant for in-flight use only not duirng take off or landing. 

    In the two aisle seats in front of me, two oafs who must have met at a gambling table reconnected and rekindled their camaraderie.  They were big, beefy and loud (not in a good way) and of course they couldn't sit next to each other lest anyone think they were gay and in love which they might as well have been because they were hee-hawing at each other while drinking up for the next two hours.  I think they thought they were still in the casino. 

     So the next time you're on a plane.  1)  Follow the flight attendant's instructions and don't assume that you know better; and 2)  Unless you're on a private jet, be considerate of your fellow passengers, keep your mess and noise to a minimum.

Happy Slapping, Insult Chat Rooms

      This is a still shot from a "happy slapping" incident that resulted in the death of a homeless man.  For all my fellow Americans who are thinking just what the heck is "happy slapping"  "Happy slapping is a fad in which an unsuspecting victim is attacked while an accomplice records the assault (commonly with a camera phone or a smartphone). The name can refer to any type of violent assault, not just slapping, even rape and sexual assaults have been classified as "happy slapping" by the media."  (from Wikipedia, September, 17 2007).  That's one trend that I am proud to say that did not originate in the United States.  Perhaps we are smarter than that or perhaps it's because of our litigious society so the average person is savvy enough to know not to create any hard evidence of an assault. 

     But seriously, I heard about happy slapping for the first time on BBC Radio One which I receive on my satellite radio service provided by Sirius which I love.  Apparently, some teenage boys dropped kicked a cat (who lived to tell), recorded it on mobile phone video and then distributed it to their school chums who then reported it to the authorities.  First of all, those boys must be sociopaths or seriously misguided (and to those boys, try to sue me for slander and let's see how far you get).  Secondly, why would you be so proud of drop kicking a poor defenseless animal.  It really does shock the conscience.  For those of you who have a shred of feeling, I assure you that  those boys were punished.

   In a similarly disturbing vein, I recently learned that there are insult chat rooms where people enter to trade jabs and ribbings.   On March 21, 2007, Kevin Whitrick was in such a chat room with about 50 other people.  He threatened to kill himself on a web cam and his audience urged him on.  He was successful in his endeavor. 

Do I need to write more? 

    

Enter the Dragon, um I mean Amateur

    Chris Crocker is the person that Andrew Keen is talking about in his book.  I wonder if Andrew Keen posted anything about Crocker on his blog.  I would look but I loathe giving Keen another page view on his blog. 

     In this case, I admit that I cannot tolerate Chris Crocker.  He represents the worst of his generation and I suspect that he is a product of the narcissistic, fame seeking culture produced by Paris Hilton and friends.  (If you're interested in some naughty satire of Paris Hilton, check out Superficial Friends on heavy.com, but be warned that it's for mature audiences only) With these real reality stars, it appears that all you need to do is behave outrageously and badly to become famous.  The aftermath is that people really believe that all you need to do to become famous is just act completely crazy, like carnival freak crazy.  There seems to be little effort to produce anything original or inherently interesting.  The worst part is that people who actually do make the effort to create get pushed aside.  It truly is sad.  Maybe Mr. Keen has a point.  But I like to think that people like you and me, using our market power, will determine our culture's direction.  So don't watch Chris Crocker's videos.  Don't contribute to an unworthy amateur's career.  Thank you.

The Cult of the Amateur

     This is a picture of a book by Andrew Keen.  He posits in his book that the Internet and especially Wikipedia, YouTube, blogs and other publicly available content publishing tools, is destroying our culture.  Yes this is a huge generalization of his thesis.  If you want to know specifics then read the book.  Mr. Keen argues that the publicly accessible nature of the Internet medium enables any Joe Schmo to deliver their version of the truth with an imprimatur of veracity.  He argues that our cultural gatekeepers, trained professionals and other worthy individuals, have been bypassed by the aforementioned tools by the, god forbid, the average person.  As you can tell, I disagree with him, but only to a degree. 

     Do I think that Rupert Murdoch who controls a vast amount of media outlets all over the world is a "worthy" gate keeper, a high priest of high culture?  No, I do not, Mr. Keen.  Do I think that the New York Times and NPR are respectable objective journalists?  Yes.  Do I believe that Andrew Keen is worthy of commenting on our society and culture?  Yes.  Mr. Keen is as well qualified as anyone else.  Is it my opinion that Mr. Keen misinterprets our society, laws and others?  Yes.  Check out Lawrence Lessig's blog.  He refutes many misstatements made by Mr. Keen about him. 

     In light of Mr. Keen's comments, I find it surprising that Mr. Keen has a blog and uses the Internet, that dirty, democratic medium, to promote himself and his book.  But really, how different is he from any other person seeking celebrity today? 

Bagging

    Shoppers worldwide from Ireland to Taiwan are now forbidden to use plastic bags because of environmental concerns.  Instead they are encouraged to recycle bags or bring their own reusable bags such as the famous Whole Foods canvas tote designed by Anya Hindmarch that inspired world-wide shopping hysteria.  Apparently some intrepid shoppers were willing to fly from Hong Kong to New York just to purchase one.  So much for the environment! 

     While I am an absolute believer in conservation, I also believe that you should never hold up a line at the supermarket.  People have places to go and things to do.  Recently, I was at Trader Joe's after work buying groceries for a family dinner.  I had a basket with only a few items.  The customer (a supremely hairy man, yet bald and wearing a Brown, the university, not the color, t-shirt) just ahead of me had a shopping cart chock a block full of stuff, frozen food, cookies, crackers, you name it.  The line started building up while the clerk rang up his purchases.  For some reason, Mr. Hairy Brown just stood there staring at the payment screen and he kept staring as the cashier bagged his groceries.  I assure you that the line behind me extended back into the produce the aisle.  The bottom line is that he should have pitched in and bagged his own groceries.  That's why there are bags and a little pull out shelf at the end of the check-out.  And it is America, land of self-help.  So the next time you find yourself at the supermarket, contribute to the campaign of consideration and help out your fellow shoppers.  Bag your own stuff. 

Office Pantry

    The office pantry.  What a dismal place unless you work somewhere posh like Google where a happy workplace is actually implemented with a fancy drinks machine that makes espresso, cappuccino, black tea, white tea and hot chocolate, and lovely snacks, healthy and bad, are neatly displayed.  Compare that to a robotic mission statement telling you that employees are important that is posted on a cork board on a Formica wall above the microwave splattered on the inside which is next to the dingy coffee machine that is in front of a sad little dinette set which sits under a fluorescent light. 

     While these two places seem very different, they do have something in common.  They are both public spaces.  And that means that you need to do your bit to keep them neat and tidy.  Take your mess and go.  Don't leave your dirty cups and wrappers behind expecting the cleaning crew or a conscientious colleague to pick up after you.  Don't assume that trays, plates and cutlery that you carried out from the cafeteria will be picked up by food services staff.  Leave the pantry in a better condition than you found it.  Otherwise some disgruntled coworker might just take a picture of something you've left behind and put it in his blog.

The Death of Formal Dining

     Florence Fabricant wrote last week in the New York Times about the decline of formal dining restaurants in Manhattan.   Linen table cloths, fine china and crystal are just too expensive and apparently not quite as fashionable anymore.  Alain Ducasse said: "In six years, style and expectations have changed.  You cannot present the same degree of formality."  A part of me regrets the trend because it means that there will be fewer opportunities to practice elegant dining.  Another part of me is delighted because I don't want elaborate decorum at a meal.  I'm just too tired to wear a tie, sit up straight and use the correct fork. 

     That being said, I believe that knowing proper dining etiquette is necessary for social success.  Knowing how to cut meat properly, how to use a fish knife and where to put your napkin when you leave the table shows your respect for the people that choose to dine with you and for the society in which you live.   

     However, I cannot discount that manners evolve.  What was proper a century ago is considered outlandish today.  And that's fine.  Manners are not static rules.  They evolve with social and cultural norms.  If dining manners didn't change, all of our meat would still be on a stick.  Don't get me wrong, I love meat on a stick, who doesn't?  If manners didn't change at all, it would be a reflection of a stagnant society.  Those die.

Flower Confidential

     I just finished reading Flower Confidential by Amy Stewart, an enthralling account of the cut flower industry.  She describes the breeding, growing and selling of cut flowers.  If you have ever purchased or received flowers, then you should read this entertaining and informative book.  Did you know that the highest quality flowers go to Europe?  That Switzerland spends about four times on flowers per capita annually compared to the United States?  That modern day flowers, like modern food crops, are grown for maximum financial return and tranport stamina rather than scent or pure beauty?   

     I also learned that most roses are dipped in fungicide prior to shipment so don't take a bath with rose petals unless you want to be poisoned or have ordered a certified bouquet from an establishment such as Organic Bouquet. 

Lookie Loo

     Several weeks ago, a coworker asked me what was the most sophisticated way to refer to the bathroom just in case she ever had to announce again to me that she needed to be excused.  We made a list of common terms people use for that place of comfort.  I group them below in two categories:  acceptable and common.

     Common

1. John - It's a person's name for pete's sake
2. Loo - In America, it's pretentious (unless you're British) and it just sounds gross
3. Head - Only appropriate at sea
4. Toilet - Does anyone really need it spelled out for them?
5. Bathroom - See number 4
6. Little Girl's/Boy's Room - No adult should utter these words.  We're not children.

     Acceptable

1. W.C. - Yes, it stands for Water Closet but it has yesteryear's charm
2. Restroom - You have to love the euphemism

Your ideas and comments are welcome.